


Ass Shot

by vinniebatman



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Episode Related, M/M, stoned!Rodney
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-08-23
Packaged: 2017-12-24 09:34:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/938387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinniebatman/pseuds/vinniebatman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While working on McKay's wound in the episode "Sateda", Beckett learns a few things about Rodney he really didn't want to know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ass Shot

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: If I did own SGA, God, the amount of naked hot gay luvin' would be overwhelming! But I don't, so let us mourn appropriately

Weir quickly walked from the room; she didn't have time to deal with these drug-induced ramblings. She had people to get back. As the sound of her boots faded, Beckett returned to patching up McKay's ass.

"Damn it McKay!" Rodney looked up, a small smile spreading across his lips as he looked at the Major. "We need to know what kind of danger your friends are in! Talk to me, damn it!"

Rodney giggled. "Hey, ya know, that vein on your forehead looks like my nosetubey." Crossing his eyes, Rodney tried to look at the plastic apparatus. The Major threw his hands in the air.

"God, I'll just leave you to getting your... ass-shot fixed." He quickly turned on his heel before stalking out of the room, muttering about something along the lines of "Freaking Canadians."

As Beckett finished cleaning the wound, he pursed his lips. Even though he was doped up, McKay still knew what he was talking about. His mind just drifted. Perhaps, if steered, he would drift over relevant information.

"So, Rodney, see anything interesting on the planet?" Beckett asked, trying for nonchalant.

"Nah. Just the usual. Dirt, trees, rocks, primitive people trying to kill us." Suddenly, McKay paused before he began laughing again.

"What's so funny, Rodney?"

"You! You're Scottish*!" Rodney continued to laugh, pulling the oxygen tube away from his nose. He rested his head on the table, sniffing at the tube before idly running the plastic up and down his nose. He started humming.

"What song is that?" Beckett asked. Carefully, he began the stitches. 

"Muh?" McKay's response was muddled, lips and cheek smushed against the table.

"The song that you were humming, what was it?" McKay smiled.

"I like that song." Beckett chuckled. 

"Well what's the name of the song?"

"I dunno. It's some song John likes," Rodney sighed. "I hope he's okay."

Beckett froze. Rodney was thinking on the present, perhaps with just a bit of prodding....

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Ah crap, did you break my ass? Did you hurt my ass-shot?" Rodney whimpered.

Oh, no, I was just asking what was wrong with you, not implying that there was something wrong down here."

"Oh, 's just sayin' that I hope they don't punch him in the face."

"Who?"

"John, stupid." Stupid Scottish guy, he just couldn't keep up. Then his thoughts drifted to John. "Sucks when his mouth get all smashed. Because then he can't kiss. He's a good kisser."

Beckett blanched. John... and Rodney... kisser?!

With a soft cough, he stepped away. Rummaging around in his desk, he pulled out a recording device, one he typically used to record comments during autopsys. Turning it on, he resumed his work. It would be nice to have something on McKay, just to knock him down a peg when was being an arrogant... well, ass.

"You... and John Sheppard... kiss?" 

Rodney sighed happily. "Yeaaah. 'S really nice. Sometimes he's minty! He likes mint gum and it tastes good on him. He even likes mint lube!"

"Oh. Interesting," Beckett squeaked, trying to focus on his stitches. 

"So, you and John, how long?"

Rodney raised his head from the table. Looking over his shoulder, he pinned Beckett with a serious gaze. "Inches or centimeters?"

Oh Holy Fucking Hell.... Beckett chocked back a laugh, which ended up sounding rather like a snort.

"Is my ass okay?" Clearing his throat, he returned to McKay's ass. 

"Your 'ass' is fine." Wincing at his choice of words, he shut his mouth and returned to the stitches. 

"So how long, Dr. Carson?" Beckett squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't really want to know how long anything on John was. "How long?" McKay interrupted again.

"You mean, until you can leave?" he asked hopefully.

"No, until we can have the sex! My butt isn't just for looking at, ya know! It is a very fine ass and you would be proud to call it your own!" Rodney shouted, shaking his head in exasperation.

"We, uh, we'll just have to see how it heals, Rodney." McKay nodded and rested his head on the table. The morphine had finally started to make him sleepy. 

"That's okay. There's always... mouth." As McKay drifted off, Beckett grinned. Oh, the fun he would have with that recording.

______________  
*This is actually a line from the film "Saving Grace" with Brenda Blythen and Craig Ferguson. It's what Grace laughs at the first time she smokes weed.


End file.
